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Elrick
Galactic Member


USA
5831 Posts

Posted - 12/15/2001 :  08:50:10 AM  Show Profile  Visit Elrick's Homepage Send Elrick a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Well with such a (at times) gloomy and deep subject I figured I'ld try to start a topic to lighten the atmosphere a bit. Hope you enjoy.....


Poopie List:

Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie
come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

Clean Poopie- The kind where you poopie it out,
see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the
toilet paper.

Wet Poopie- The kind where you wipe your butt 50
times and still feels unwipped, so you have to put
some toilet paper between your butt and your
underwear, so you won't ruin them with a stain.

Second Wave Poopie- This happens when you're done
poopieing and you've pulled your pants up to your
knees and you realize that you have to poopie some
more.

Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie- The kind were
you strain so much to get it out, you practically
have a stroke.

Lincoln Log Poopie- The kind of poopie that is so
huge, your afraid to flush without first breaking
it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

Gassy Poopie- It's so noisy, everyone within
earshot is giggling.

Corn Poopie- Self explanatory.

Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie-Poopie- The kind where
you want to poopie, but all you do is sit on the
toilet & fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Poopie- That's where it hurts so badly
coming out, you'd swear it was leaving sideways.

Wet Cheeks Poopie- (The power dump) The kind that
comes out of your butt so fast, your cheeks get
spalshed with water.

Liquid Poopie- The kind where yellowish-brown
liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all
over the toilet bowl.

Mexican Poopie- It smells so bad your nose burns.

Upper Class Poopie- The kind of poopie that
doesen't smell.

The Suprise Poopie- You are not even at the toilet
because you are sure your about to fart, but
OOPS!- a poopie!

The Dangling Poopie- This poopie refuses to drop
into the toilet even though you know you are done
poopieing. You just pray that a shake or two will
cut it loose.



If you have something that might make us laugh, post it here (as long as it isn't real vulgar)....Thanks



"We are not merely human beings having a spiritual experience, but rather spiritual beings having a human experience."

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Elrick
Galactic Member



USA
5831 Posts

Posted - 01/08/2002 :  07:21:21 AM  Show Profile  Visit Elrick's Homepage Send Elrick a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Check this out. This is a funny little game that just came out. Its a lot better than the first one. They have online competitions too. Its called "catch the sperm 2", but dont worry, its not valgar or anything. Its created by stopaids I think which is probably an aids prevention place. Check it out, post your high score if you want.

You must be logged in to see this link.


--NEW-- the above link is no longer valid but you can check out the latest "Catch the Sperm Unlimited" at:

You must be logged in to see this link.

Give it a try.....





"We are not merely human beings having a spiritual experience, but rather spiritual beings having a human experience."

Edited by - Elrick on 03/16/2003 10:19:17 AM
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Elrick
Galactic Member



USA
5831 Posts

Posted - 01/20/2002 :  09:50:30 AM  Show Profile  Visit Elrick's Homepage Send Elrick a Private Message  Reply with Quote
The following was forwarded by Susan Cerdan:

THE YEAR'S BEST [ACTUAL] HEADLINES OF 2000 -2001 WERE:

Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors



"We are not merely human beings having a spiritual experience, but rather spiritual beings having a human experience."
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Elrick
Galactic Member



USA
5831 Posts

Posted - 03/29/2002 :  7:56:18 PM  Show Profile  Visit Elrick's Homepage Send Elrick a Private Message  Reply with Quote
A father and his daughter are spending the day together. He gets her a twinkie and they head off to the barbar shop. As the father gets his hair cut, the little girl stands next to her dad, eating her twinkie. The barbar looks down at the little girl and in a kind voice says,"Honey, you're going to get hair on your twinkie." The little girl looks up smiling at the barbar and replies,"I know, and I'm gonna get boobies too!"


"We are not merely human beings having a spiritual experience, but rather spiritual beings having a human experience."
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Elrick
Galactic Member



USA
5831 Posts

Posted - 03/30/2002 :  06:25:26 AM  Show Profile  Visit Elrick's Homepage Send Elrick a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Thats good...glad to find somebody else with a sense of humor....Here is one I heard the other day:

Two older male friends are walking along casually, when they come upon a dog. The dog is so engrossed in "licking himself" that he doesn't even notice the 2 men watching it. One of the male friends turns to the other and says,"man, I wish I could do that!" The friend turns to him buddy and replies,"I think you better try petting him first."


"We are not merely human beings having a spiritual experience, but rather spiritual beings having a human experience."
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Elrick
Galactic Member



USA
5831 Posts

Posted - 03/31/2002 :  10:46:44 AM  Show Profile  Visit Elrick's Homepage Send Elrick a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Thats a good one too....

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. After the initial embarrassment and uneasiness, they both go to sleep, the man in the upper berth, and the woman in the lower berth. In the middle of the night the man leans over, wakes the woman and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly reach over and get me another blanket?" The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye says, "I have a better idea. Just for tonight let's pretend that we are married." The man happily says, "OK. Brilliant!" The woman says "Good ... get your own damn blanket."


WHY PARENTS HAVE GREY HAIR

The boss of a big company needed to call one
of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers.
He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered,
"Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster, the boss asked, "Is your
daddy home?" "Yes," whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice
whispered, "No." Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes," came the answer. "May I talk with her?" Again, the small voice whispered, "No." Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he
would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child.
"Is there anyone there besides you?" the boss asked the child.
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his
employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.
"Talking to daddy and mommy and the fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned as he heard what sounded
like a helicopter through the earpiece on the
phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper," answered the whispering
voice. "What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed. In an awed, whispering voice, the child answered, "The search team
just landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, and more than just a little
frustrated, the boss asked, "What
are they searching for?" Still whispering, the young voice replied along
with a muffled giggle,
"ME."



"We are not merely human beings having a spiritual experience, but rather spiritual beings having a human experience."
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Elrick
Galactic Member



USA
5831 Posts

Posted - 04/06/2002 :  7:54:59 PM  Show Profile  Visit Elrick's Homepage Send Elrick a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Here is one that has been going around lately. Thought I would post it for those who haven't seen it yet. I hope you have good speakers too, because the ghost moans are kind of hard to hear.....


You must be logged in to see this link.





"We are not merely human beings having a spiritual experience, but rather spiritual beings having a human experience."
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calperia
Galactic Member



USA
1571 Posts

Posted - 04/09/2002 :  09:06:50 AM  Show Profile Send calperia a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Elrick:

Concerning your initial post here,

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!


I laughed so hard, I thought I was going to "poopie my pants!"

You guys are such fun!

Love Ya!
Calperia

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Elrick
Galactic Member



USA
5831 Posts

Posted - 04/13/2002 :  11:55:06 AM  Show Profile  Visit Elrick's Homepage Send Elrick a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Starmom gets the credit for this one. She sent it to me....

"When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that
ball-point pens would not work in 0 gravity. To combat this problem, NASA
scientists spent a decade and $3.4 million developing a pen that writes in
zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including
glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300C.

The Russians used a pencil."


I thought it was quite amusing.....


"We are not merely human beings having a spiritual experience, but rather spiritual beings having a human experience."
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Elrick
Galactic Member



USA
5831 Posts

Posted - 04/15/2002 :  11:15:12 AM  Show Profile  Visit Elrick's Homepage Send Elrick a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Thats good...

Here is one my aunt sent me the other day, its cute:

 

Under the image it read something like, "see....you shouldn't always jump to conclusions"




"We are not merely human beings having a spiritual experience, but rather spiritual beings having a human experience."

Edited by - Elrick on 04/15/2002 11:16:45 AM
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Elrick
Galactic Member



USA
5831 Posts

Posted - 04/20/2002 :  2:19:29 PM  Show Profile  Visit Elrick's Homepage Send Elrick a Private Message  Reply with Quote
A DRUNK IN CONFESSION

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down, but says nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk just sits there.

Finally the Priest pounds three times on the wall.

The drunk stammers, "Ain't no use knockin', there ain't no paper on this side either."





"We are not merely human beings having a spiritual experience, but rather spiritual beings having a human experience."
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Elrick
Galactic Member



USA
5831 Posts

Posted - 04/26/2002 :  2:16:29 PM  Show Profile  Visit Elrick's Homepage Send Elrick a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I'll let you know when I figure that one out...



"We are not merely human beings having a spiritual experience, but rather spiritual beings having a human experience."
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Mr. X
Galactic Member

588 Posts

Posted - 05/03/2002 :  11:25:33 AM  Show Profile  Visit Mr. X's Homepage Send Mr. X a Private Message  Reply with Quote
A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where
two Americans are waiting.

"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks. The two
Americans just stare at him.

"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries. The two continue to
stare.

"Parlare Italiano?" No response.

"Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing.

The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American
turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a
foreign language."

"Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and it
didn't do him any good."


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Mr. X
Galactic Member

588 Posts

Posted - 05/11/2002 :  12:10:14 PM  Show Profile  Visit Mr. X's Homepage Send Mr. X a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Two men were watching a dog lick his private parts for some time when one of them said, "Jeez....I wish I could do that." The other man said, "I might suggest that you make friends with him first."



Edited by - MR. X on 05/11/2002 12:12:15 PM
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Scully
Grey Member



Australia
85 Posts

Posted - 05/14/2002 :  11:24:52 PM  Show Profile  Visit Scully's Homepage Send Scully a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it couldn't fly. Lol....!

Here's one I prepared earlier:

How do you keep an idiot occupied?

Say the word PIGS before each of these words:

1) PIGS
2) ABOUT
3) TALKING
4) IDIOT
5) THIS
6) GOT
7) I
8) LONG
9) HOW
10) LOOK

Say the word PIGS after each of these words:

1) PIGS
2) ABOUT
3) TALKING
4) IDIOT
5) THIS
6) GOT
7) I
8) LONG
9) HOW
10) LOOK

Say the words PIGS before AND after each word:

1) PIGS
2) ABOUT
3) TALKING
4) IDIOT
5) THIS
6) GOT
7) I
8) LONG
9) HOW
10) LOOK

Now read each words from the bottom to the top:

1) PIGS
2) ABOUT
3) TALKING
4) IDIOT
5) THIS
6) GOT
7) I
8) LONG
9) HOW
10) LOOK


Lolllllllllll!!!!

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Elrick
Galactic Member



USA
5831 Posts

Posted - 05/15/2002 :  06:29:09 AM  Show Profile  Visit Elrick's Homepage Send Elrick a Private Message  Reply with Quote
cool, thats cute skully....



"We are not merely human beings having a spiritual experience, but rather spiritual beings having a human experience."
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